Jackass: Fire Emblem Style
by MoonlitMeowth
Summary: Ike and company have decided that they want to perform crazy, idiotic, and pointless tricks for other people's enjoyment. Hopefully they can get other people to join their crew...
1. Chapter 1

MoonlitMeowth: Hello all! I hope you all enjoy this new Fire Emblem story I wrote!

Shinimegami: And I helped!

MoonlitMeowth: Um, yeah. No one cares about that.

Shinimegami: …

MoonlitMeowth: Anyways! This is just the same as the television show, "Jackass", but with the Fire Emblem people! I haven't decided whether to have a choice selection of the characters or to add them add eventually, but this might just be one of our endless stories. Isn't that right, sis?

Shinimegami: Oh, so now you're including me. Is _that_ it?

MoonlitMeowth: Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Shinimegami: Hm.

MoonlitMeowth: Oh, and don't forget to check out my sister's Fire Emblem story on It's entitled Fire Emblem: Path of Idiocy. But… you'll have to wait 'till it's up… 'cause she's so _lazy_!

Shinimegami: Hey!

MoonlitMeowth: Yeah, but her author name is ED of Oblivion. Some of you probably know her already _since_ she's so popular!

Shinimegami: (big grin)

MoonlitMeowth: But I like the name "Shinimegami" better. It's easier to type…

Shinimegami: You're probably the only person besides me who feels that way.

MoonlitMeowth: Well, it doesn't matter 'cause we need to get on with it already! Here we go!

Note: Most of what the Fire Emblem characters perform was actually taken from the show because MoonlitMeowth couldn't come up with anything funnier. She might later on though. And also the characters will act nothing like they normally would in their everyday lives, and things will be modernized, and then sometimes they won't be. Depends on what she feels like doing. XD

Also, everything will be from Rhys' point of view, seeing as how he's the cameraman. But someone else might take over his job if Rhys decides he wants to perform a trick. Thank you.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The original Greil Mercenaries, Ike, Soren, Titania, Oscar, Boyd, Shinon, Gatrie, and Rhys have decided to make their own Jackass show. They are all running around doing stupid things, recruiting people to join them along the way as they torment innocent people into either watching or joining this madness. Right now, Ike is walking up to the camera. He walks up really close to his cameraman, Rhys, and introduces himself.

"Hey, I'm Ike, and this is Jackass."

Everyone in the background starts to cheer wildly, and Shinon pulls out a random beer bottle and starts to chug it. A few seconds later, he gags on it from drinking too fast, and hacks it all over the place. Everyone else is laughing like hyenas while pointing and laughing.

The camera cuts off, but then comes back on a few moments later revealing Oscar. He looks like he always does, clean, green hair, and squinted eyes, but he looks determined.

"Hi, I'm Oscar, and this is the Survival trick. I'm gonna try to beat Titania on horseback while we run past each other."

The camera zooms out, showing that Oscar is, as usual, in his full-body armor, and on his brown horse. He is equipped with an Iron Lance. He pulls out a helmet from seemingly nowhere, puts it on his head, and turns his horse away from the camera. The camera then turns to show Titania, also fully armored, but with her white war horse. Her expression says that she is confident, yet laid back. She is wielding a Steel Axe.

The remaining mercenaries are standing on the other side of the battle, where they are safe from any danger. Gatrie is munching contently on popcorn while Shinon attempts to drink more beer.

"Okaaaaaaaay…" Ike says, "Go!"

Both horses race for each other as fast as they can, Oscar lowering his weapon to strike Titania with, while Titania merely holds her axe at the ready.

It was all pretty much over in a millisecond. Oscar got nervous at the last possible second, and waved his lance wildly at Titania's body. Titania countered by simply holding her axe outward as Oscar's horse ran toward her, and her horse ran toward him. The result was Oscar getting hit in the chest, sending him flying off his horse and into the ground.

Everyone watching either covered their eyes, looked the other way, or winced as they witnessed Oscar's stupidity. Shinon was now too drunk to notice anything except how drunk he was. Everyone else made "ooh" and "ah" sounds as they reacted to Oscar's painful landing.

Oscar had been lying on the ground for several seconds, but then he realized he could move, and proceeded to raising his body to a sitting position.

However, once he sat up, he saw his horse galloping towards him at full speed for some reason. His eyes enlarged, and he tried to scramble to his feet, but the brown horse stampeded him and, once again, Oscar went down!

"Oooooooooooh!!!" everyone, minus Shinon, said, reacting to the newly inflicted pain to their lance knight friend.

Oscar's body now had hoof print marks all over it, and yet he continued to live. Because no one ever dies on Jackass!

Boyd looked over at Rhys, who was still operating the camera.

"Um, Rhys, you might wanna use that staff on my brother…"

"Oh, right." Rhys said, setting the camera on the ground, and running over to Oscar's body.

The camera is now at an angle, but it is still showing Oscar and Rhys. Rhys takes out his staff, positions it, and just as it looks like he's about to heal him, he starts repeatedly whacking Oscar with it.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Oscar managed to scream in agony.

"Aaaaaaaahhhh…!" everyone moaned again to Oscar's pain.

"Oh, dude, you're not supposed to use it like _that_!" Soren said, actually laughing with everyone else.

"Oh, _whoops_!" Rhys said, actually leaving Oscar in the grass unhealed.

Oscar groaned, tried to sit up, but then passed out from lack of strength.

"Oh man, he's gonna be feeling _that_ tomorrow!" Gatrie said to Shinon, slapping him on the back.

Shinon's eyes grew fairly large, and then he bent over, throwing up all the alcohol he ingested right at Gatrie's feet.

"Aw man, _gross_!" Gatrie replied, pushing his buddy away, but causing him to fall on the ground, and then roll a couple of times before he settled. Then Gatrie turned to everyone else.

"Did anyone else just see what Shinon did?"

"Hell _yeah_!" Ike said, laughing extremely hard.

"Well, let's go on to the next trick." Titania said, looking at the camera, but obviously to Rhys.

The camera turned off, but came back on shortly afterwards, revealing Boyd. He was smiling insanely, just like everyone else, and he started laughing as he tried to speak into the camera.

"Hey, I'm Boyd, and this is the Off-Road Toy Downhill trick. Now what we're gonna do is take some little kiddy toys and we're gonna _race_ these mother fuckers! YEAH!"

The camera zooms out to reveal a large hill with a bunch of different small children toys that are used for riding.

Rhys can be heard snickering as Boyd gets ready to go first. He gets a plastic tricycle, sits down on it uncomfortably, and then scoots himself to the edge. Because he can't get his feet to go on the pedals, he sticks them straight out in front of him. After a push from Ike, Boyd starts to descent the hill, really slowly at first, but once he picks up speed he instantly starts to lose control, and when that happened, he fell straight over the front of the toy, and he started to roll really painfully down the hill. The tricycle, however, was still stuck to his butt, so as Boyd rolled, the tricycle rolled with him. He half somersaulted and half fell until he reached the bottom, in which the toy was still attached to his body.

Rhys was laughing hysterically as Boyd laid face down in the dirt, his ass in the air with the tricycle still attached to it.

Now it was Soren's turn. He was seated on plastic lid-like sled, and gave the signal for Ike to give him a push off. Once he was pushed, he seemed to be off on a good start, but halfway down the hill, the grass caused the sled to dump Soren off to the side. Soren put up no fight, and basically just fell to the side with his arms still wrapped around his knees. He made a dull thud sound as he hit the grass, and he just laid there motionless, the sled standing up on its side from Soren's weight.

The mercenaries exploded in laughter from Soren's emotionless expression and the way he fell straight down to the side without a word.

The next person up was Shinon, and he got a wagon. He placed it at the top of the hill, beer in hand, and sat down in it, his legs uncomfortably hanging over the front. When Ike tried to push the sniper down the hill, Shinon got really pissed off, and waved Ike off angrily, accidentally causing himself to go down the hill before he was ready. The result was better than Boyd's or Soren's. Shinon, not being drunk yet, was fully aware of everything going on around him, and he screamed as the wagon veered out of control, dumping him off very early on down the hill. Shinon rolled off course down the hill, and fell into a creek they were standing next to.

Everyone ran to see what his reaction would be to that. When they saw Shinon, his beer hand was perfectly safe and out of the water, but the rest of him was soaked. He eventually brought himself to his feet, the first thing he looked at being his beer, but it looked okay. He sighed with relief, and then began to drink it calmly. Everyone rolled their eyes at him.

"Okay Ike, it's your turn!" Gatrie said, producing Ike's ride: a child's scooter.

Ike rolled his shoulders, and then got on, pushing himself off the top of the hill, spotting the camera, and giving it the "rock on" hand gesture. But, by being distracted by the camera, Ike lost his balance, and flew off the scooter, ramming his face straight into the dirt, while the scooter tumbled down after him, landing on top of his body. Ike's arms and legs were sprawled out, and his blue hair was covered in mud, as were his red and blue clothes.

Rhys started snickering at Ike's form, and how Shinon suddenly ran up and kicked Ike's body further down the hill for no reason whatsoever.

The camera turned off, and then turned back on momentarily with Ike up front. His hair was still messed up and dirty and he had a bruise on his cheek, but he smiled anyway. It was a rather _naughty_ smile.

"Okay, I'm Ike, and this is the Party Boy trick. I'm gonna go around town with Soren's robes covering me up, but I'm secretly wearing a man thong! So I'm gonna hit the music stores, have the employees play some music for me, and then I'm gonna strip for them!"

The camera turns off, but turns back on showing Ike walking on the other side of the street dressed in Soren's black robes. He is trying his hardest to act casual, but laughs when he sees Rhys, Boyd, and Soren running with the camera across the street from where he was.

Ike enters a music shop, and the three boys run to the window and continue to film him through it. Boyd manages to open it from the outside so that they can hear what Ike says.

Ike can now be seen requesting to listen to some music, which the shopkeeper gladly allows him. He walks Ike over to one of his stereos, and turns it on to a techno beat. Ike starts to move his body casually to the music. After a bit, he starts to get more into it, but not quite wild yet.

"Hey, this is a pretty good beat. Kinda makes ya wanna party. I feel like partying right now." Ike then whipped off Soren's robes, dropping them to the floor and revealing his almost naked body to the shopkeeper, who recoils in surprise.

The three boys outside exploded in laughter from Ike's crazy dance moves as he follows the shopkeeper to the next room. Rhys runs to the door window of the shop and films Ike getting a little too close to the shopkeeper's back. Boyd is laughing the hardest out of the three of them.

As the shopkeeper starts talking to one of his employees, Ike goes back in the other room, picks up Soren's robes and starts to spin them over his head while jutting his crotch to the beat of the music.

When the shopkeeper returns to tell Ike to leave, Ike did the towel-dry move with Soren's robes between his legs. At this point, Soren narrows his eyes in disgust.

"Looks like I won't be wearing those for a while…"

Soren's comment caused Boyd to laugh even harder.

Once the shopkeeper turned off the stereo, Ike immediately stopped dancing, and pretended to act disappointed and confused.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"You need to leave the store."

"Why?"

"Just get out."

"But—"

"I SAID GET OUT!!!"

"Well, okay…"

Ike ran out of the shop without dressing himself first. He ran into Rhys and the other two, and grinned like an idiot.

"One down, two to go."

"Aw c'mon, Ike!" Soren whined.

"Shut up, Soren; it's _funny_!" Boyd said, clapping Ike on the back heartily.

Soren narrowed his eyes again, but followed the others.

Eventually, Ike earned a black eye, since the last shop was owned by a woman. Ike exited the shop screaming like a frat boy.

"YEAH!" he started to disco for his buddies, who felt sick to their stomachs with laughter.

Ike then turned to Soren, extending the black robes. "Hey, you want these back?"

"Keep them." Soren said with a disgusted look on his face.

Rhys and Boyd laughed really hard, and then the camera went out.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

MoonlitMeowth: So yeah. That's my first chapter. I hope it got everyone reading this to laugh as much as Ike did…

Shinimegami: Dude. I never thought of Ike as a crazy party boy stripper…

MoonlitMeowth: And _that_, dear sister, is why it's so funny! (big, satisfied grin)

Shinimegami: Yeah, that _was_ pretty funny… I liked the part with Shinon's obsession of beer.

MoonlitMeowth: Yeah, well Shinon had it coming. Besides, I decided that every time we see him, he'll either be drinking or already be drunk.

Shinimegami: Well?

MoonlitMeowth: Well what?

Shinimegami: Where are the other chapters?

MoonlitMeowth: They'll come if I find out enough people like it. Or if I come up with any other ideas…

Shinimegami: Well, we'll just watch the show a lot! Which we do anyway…

MoonlitMeowth: Yep! So I hope you readers stay tuned for more crazy stuff! And I'll add new members later!

Shinimegami: Yay! I love Reyson!

MoonlitMeowth: I know you do.

Shinimegami: XD


	2. Chapter 2

MoonlitMeowth: Hello people! To start off, I'd like to thank those of you who reviewed; it made me happy! (big grin)

Shinimegami: Yeah, that's good to know you have fans.

MoonlitMeowth: Yay! Anyways, I will try to keep thinking up more tricks so that the story doesn't die.

Shinimegami: That would be bad.

MoonlitMeowth: Most definitely. (nod)

Disclaimers 'cause I forgot about them last time: I do not own Jackass or Fire Emblem.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

The camera turns on to the original Greil Mercenaries. They are all still laughing and smiling like idiots. Shinon is now drinking out of a martini glass with the olive and everything, Soren is wearing an exact replica of his old robes, and Ike is dressed in his normal clothes again, but secretly still wearing his man thong.

"Okay you guys," Rhys' voice said, "action!"

Everyone took a deep breath. "We're the Greil Mercenaries, and this is Jackass!"

Crazy, random music started to play out of nowhere, but no one seemed to notice as they play-punched each other for no reason. Shinon was the only one under the influence of alcohol…

The camera went off, but then came back on to show Gatrie.

"Hi, I'm Gatrie, and this is the Police Brutality trick. Just watch me take that gun from that cop over there!"

Gatrie snickers, runs over to a Daein cop, and taps him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, officer, I lost my doggie up in the forest—" as soon as the cop looked in the direction Gatrie was pointing, Gatrie seized the cop's handgun, yanked on it, and began to try and run away from the cop.

However, the police officer was much quicker than Gatrie, pulled out his nightstick, and began beating Gatrie with it.

Gatrie went down in minus two seconds, the cop still repeatedly bashing him with the nightstick. At one point, Gatrie actually lost consciousness, and the cop barely noticed as he continued to assault Gatrie with his police stick.

The other members of the Greil Mercenaries suddenly took note that the cop was still effortlessly beating up on their friend, and they all looked at each other for a debate.

"Hey," Ike said, "that guy's a Daein soldier…"

"He's a cop, though," Titania said.

"Well yeah, but he probably knows we live in Crimea…"

Everyone stared at each other silently.

"Maybe we should try and help him…" Soren said.

At this point, Shinon, who was surrounded by countless martini glasses, automatically walked, er, staggered toward the cop, obviously trying to attack him back to defend Gatrie. Shinon uneasily notched an arrow to his bow, but because he had poor judgment, he failed to realize that he was a foot away from the cop.

The Daein cop was still beating up Gatrie when he saw Shinon just flounce out of nowhere, and he whistled, signaling three big attack dogs to appear out of nowhere and attack Shinon.

Shinon started screaming as all three dogs began biting at him, but he still tried to aim his bow at the cop.

Everyone else stared blankly, and then all edged away silently.

The camera turned off suddenly. It came back on to reveal Oscar.

"Hello, I'm Oscar, and this is the Self-Defense trick. I'm going to test out all these weapons here and see which is the most efficient."

He indicates a table with many different types of weapons strewed about it. The weapons range from all sorts of things, from common to unbelievably odd. The weapons were as follows: a sword, a baseball bat, some pepper spray, a cattle prod, a rabid weasel in a cage, a belt, a club with a single large nail in it, and some safety pins.

Oscar stares, transfixed, at the club with the nail in it. He picks it up with a confused expression, bangs it twice on the table using the nail side, and then throws it behind him hurriedly. He looks back at the camera.

"Anyway. Let's start with the pepper spray!" he grins, and picks up the can of pepper spray before the camera turned off again.

When it came back on, Oscar was approaching Ike and Soren, and Ike was holding the pepper spray can.

Oscar is holding out a wallet for Ike. "Hey, did you drop this—"

He is cut off when Ike suddenly sprays the pepper spray forcefully into Oscar's eyes. Oscar screams loudly and falls backwards on the ground, covering his eyes, which are now burning with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, MY EYES!!! OH GOD, I'M GONNA DIE!!! IT BURNS, IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNSSSSS!!!"

Rhys could be heard snickering as Boyd and Rolf appeared from nowhere, each carrying baseball bats, and slamming them down on Oscar at the same time. A loud THUNK could be heard over Oscar's screams of agony.

Rhys turns the camera off, and when it comes back on a few moments later, Oscar was standing in view with bruises all over his body. He even had a black eye.

However, he managed to speak in a calm voice. "Okay, the next one I'll be testing out is the cattle prod."

The camera turns off again, and comes back on with Oscar walking up to Titania, who was on her white war horse, sitting rather calmly with the cattle prod in hand. Oscar starts talking to her.

"Hey, aren't you that famous 'Tank Woman?'"

At this comment, Titania began repeatedly stabbing Oscar with the cattle prod, showing no mercy whatsoever. In fact, she was nearly laughing as she did it!

Ike and the others were now seated in the background in lawn chairs, munching contently on popcorn and drinking Icees. Shinon was eating frozen beer cubes.

After Oscar screamed himself hoarse, no pun intended, he put a hand out to Titania. "Okay… That's…enough…"

By now, his two younger brothers returned with the same baseball bats, and brought them down on him again for no reason whatsoever. Then they ran off from wherever they came from laughing like crazy people.

Oscar then began to cuss loudly before the camera turned off.

It came back on with Oscar bleeding from the mouth with more bruises, and now the other eye blackened. He was standing near the table of weapons.

"Okay, I don't think I'm going to test out any more of these weapons. The pepper spray was tough, the cattle prod hurt like a son of a bitch, and I'm sure not trying any of the other ones…"

Just as he was finishing his sentence, Boyd and Rolf ran up again, both of them smacking Oscar in the back of the head, sending him straight down onto the ground. They ran off laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Oscar now lost consciousness. Rhys turned the camera off.

It came back on a few minutes later, showing Shinon, Rolf, and Mist sitting at a table with a bunch of dairy products lying out. Shinon was incredibly drunk at this point, and was sitting between Mist and Rolf. However, he managed to introduce the next trick.

"Hey… I'm Shinon, and… What we have here is the Dairy Challenge. Now we're gonna…gonna…see which one of us can drink the much dairy before…having it come back up! Alright…"

They began to drink as much milk and eggnog as they possibly could. Rhys was patiently filming them as they continued to drink.

As time passed, Shinon somehow managed to become more drunk, and turned to Mist. "I was _raised_ on the dairy, bitch!" he began to laugh drunkenly, and then he started coughing and making retching sounds.

Luckily for them, Soren thought it would be a wise idea to place garbage cans within reach when it came to this.

So Shinon ran over to the garbage can and retched loudly into it, the dairy intake being much too high for him. However, Mist and Rolf were alright for now.

When Shinon returned, he turned to Rolf and said, "You got eggnog in my _goat milk_!"

Rhys' voice could be heard in the background. "Is the milk getting him _drunker_?"

Voices of debate were heard behind the camera as they watched Shinon fall out of his chair backwards, milk spraying out of his mouth.

Mist and Rolf still had not vomited yet, and they continued to drink their milk.

"Hey, my sis is doing really good!" Ike said, laughing.

Just as he said it, Mist threw up all over the table of dairy. As she did, Rolf laughed, milk coming out of his nose, oddly enough. Then he vomited as well. They both passed out on the table.

Everyone went silent. The camera went off, but then turned on again moments later. Shinon was propped up against the two children. Throwing up allowed him to become sober again.

"Well…nobody really _wins_ the Diary Challenge… Oh God… I need a beer."

"Well," Gatrie said, "that _does_ make him act normal."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Rhys turned the camera off.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

MoonlitMeowth: Okay, I know that the ending was rather abrupt, but I seem to have trouble ending these things. Besides, I don't really remember how they end the actual show. Either way, I need to come up with more funny tricks. I know I will, though…

Shinimegami: Sure, sis, it'll be funny!

MoonlitMeowth: Yeah, I've got a few in mind, actually… (big grin)

Shinimegami: Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

MoonlitMeowth: Yeah, well anyways, I hope you readers thought it was funny; it's actually a little difficult to write. But, I'm doing my best to word it funny!

Shinimegami: Yay for that!

MoonlitMeowth: And maybe next chapter I'll add more people. 'Cause we need 'em! XD


	3. Chapter 3

MoonlitMeowth: Hey all! Sorry it took me so long to update! Trying to come up with good tricks and stuff…

Shinimegami: Sorry sis, but no one really cares _what_ the reason was… Plus, people probably don't even read your talky part.

MoonlitMeowth: I RESENT THAT!

Shinimegami: I'm sure you do. Anyway, enough talk. More Jackass. ^^

The camera turns on and the Greil Mercenaries can be seen, now with the official additions of Mist, Rolf, and Mia.

"Annnnnd action!" Rhys says to them.

"We're the Greil Mercenaries and this is Jackass!" everyone screams.

Mist turns to her brother and gives him a hard look. "So how come me, Rolf, and Mia weren't included in more stuff before?"

"Well, I just thought, ya know… You're both kinda young and all…" Ike muttered, unable to think of a better reason.

"Hey! What about me?" Mia protested.

"Well, you know _what_?! You just decided to show up while we were in some random castle, so nyaaaaaaaaah!" Ike whined.

Without warning, Mia just suddenly punched out at Ike, hitting him square in the nose, and managing to knock him over.

"Owwww! My face!" Ike shouted, and suddenly passed out.

Then Shinon came up and randomly poured a pint of vodka on Ike's unconscious form.

"That's for that time you thought you were better than me!" he said drunkenly.

Suddenly everyone starts to randomly cheer, and Rhys turns the camera off.

It turns back on a few minutes later to show a sleeping Reyson sitting upright in a chair. Mist and Rolf have put both his feet in two separate buckets of concrete, and are fanning it dry.

After waiting for however long is needed, Mist clangs two pans together, waking up the heron instantly.

He tries to fly away on reaction, but can't. He then looks at what's holding him down, narrows his eyes at the buckets, and then, with all his strength, somehow manages to get into the air.

Then Boyd suddenly came into the room. "Hey guys! What's going—"

He is suddenly cut off when Reyson suddenly comes back down directly on top of him, causing him to land flat on his back.

Mist and Rolf crack up laughing, while Reyson, from lack of energy, loses his balance, and falls on his back, landing like one large feather on Boyd's face.

Rhys is laughing, mostly from the fact that Reyson could even fly at all, but he then comments on Boyd's uncanny timing.

"Dude, I wasn't sure what was going to come out of this trick, but that was priceless!"

"…there's a heron…with two cement buckets…on my crotch. WILL SOMEONE GET THEM OFF OF ME?!"

Ike suddenly runs into the room, dressed up as a hockey player. "Hey guys! Ready for the next trick?! Oh, hey, Boyd. I guess I'll see you there, okay?"

"Ike, you idiot!" Boyd yells, "My balls are getting crushed from _two buckets of cement!_"

"Well, when you get the chance, meet us outside, mmmkay?" Ike then prances happily out, followed by Mist and Rolf.

Rhys zooms in on Boyd's pained expression, and then turns the camera off.

The camera then turns back on showing Ike and Soren dressed up as hockey players. They have all the equipment necessary for an actual hockey game, but they are on the sidewalk, preparing to suddenly run into the street.

"Okay, I'm Ike, and this is my buddy, Soren, and we're gonna beat the crap out of each other in the middle of the street dressed as hockey players. Let's see some reactions! YEAAAAAAAH!" he pulls his mask down, and then rushes out into the middle of the street with Soren in front of him.

The outfit and everything is too big for Soren, and he can't help but keep tripping over everything, making it easier for Ike to beat him up. At one point as Soren trips over his gear again, his tries to use his hockey stick for support, but ends up whacking Ike right in his face, making him stumble on his ice stakes, and crash into a fire hydrant. For whatever reason, the hydrant falls over on impact and starts gushing large torrents of water all over the place. Cars are now veering out of control nearby as they try to avoid Soren who's in the middle of the street and the surprise of the sudden geyser of water.

Ike is trying to regain his balance after falling over the fire hydrant, and he when he finally gets to his feet, he rushes over to Soren and tackles him full-on into a mailbox, knocking it over as well.

Rhys starts laughing really hard as Ike full on punches at Soren's face and yells, "That play was uncalled for!"

Then Boyd finally makes it to the party, and he is dragging Reyson, whose feet are still encased in concrete, behind him. It looks like he still has a grudge against Ike because he lifts Reyson over his head, and lobs him over at Ike. Reyson is madly flapping his wings and waving his arms to try and get away, but his concrete feet hit Ike right in the head, and send both of them to the ground.

Ike looks like he's out for the count, but the impact managed to free Reyson from his concrete wedges and he flies angrily back at Boyd, picking him up, and flying away into the sky with him.

"Whooaaaaaa!" everyone says as they shield their eyes from the sun and watch as Reyson and Boyd get smaller and Boyd's screams for help shrink away to nothing.

"How did he manage to do that?" Mia asked.

"Well, he hangs around Tibarn a lot, so maybe there is some secret to getting stronger or something…" Rhys replies, a little worried about the fact that Reyson had the strength to do that.

Nobody really cared where he was taking Boyd because Ike started to wake up again and they wanted to capture his reaction. He groans and gets to his feet slowly, holding his head, which was bleeding a lot. When he takes his hand away, and sees the blood, he starts yelling at everyone around him.

"Hey what the hell?! Who did this? This wasn't part of this!"

As he starting really getting into yelling, suddenly both Mist and Rolf run up with the baseball bats and jump at the same time and hit Ike in the head, sending him back down on the ground again. They laugh hysterically and run off again from wherever they were hiding at.

Soren, meanwhile, was standing there watching Ike throughout the entire ordeal of him getting hurt, and just points and laughs once at him before rejoining the group. "C'mon, let's get on with the next one."

Rhys zooms in on Ike once before he's about to turn off the camera, and right before he cuts off, he manages to capture Shinon undoing his fly, about to take a piss on Ike's unconscious form. Then the camera goes off.

The camera comes back on to show Gatrie and Shinon sitting in one of their houses next to the telephone. Gatrie has a very wide grin on his face and Shinon is smirking, a bucket full of ice and a bottle of champagne not very far away from him.

"Hello, I'm Gatrie," Gatrie started, and looked over at Shinon, who was starting to nod off slightly. He elbowed him rather hard.

"Wha-?!" Shinon barked, raising an annoyed eyebrow at Gatrie. "…oh. Yeah, and I'm Shinon…"

"And this is the Dial-a-Date trick!" Gatrie said with an even bigger grin. "We're gonna call random numbers, see if the receiver is chick, if she's single, and if she'll go out with us! It's gonna be so awesome!"

"Yeah, maybe you'll finally land yourself a girl…" Shinon grumbled, producing a glass of champagne suddenly even though he hadn't popped his bottle of champagne yet.

All the guys started to get really excited because they knew this wouldn't end well, especially with Gatrie and Shinon doing the calling. Rhys swooped his camera over the crew watching and caught Ike giggling like a schoolgirl while Oscar and Mia were debating over what types of things the girls were likely to say. Mist and Rolf were grinning like idiots and Titania and Soren were just watching Rhys filming.

"Okay I'm gonna dial the first number!" Gatrie said excitedly, punching in a random number.

"Make sure to put it on speaker!" Ike reminded him.

After the first ring, Gatrie put the phone on speaker and everybody waited for the phone to get picked up. Finally, a female voice answered.

"Hello?" she said plainly.

"Hi!" Gatrie said, trying to hide a laugh while everybody else around him snickered. "It's your lucky day today if you're a single lady!"

The woman paused before speaking, "…is this a joke?"

"No way! You just landed yourself a date with the famous mercenary Gatrie!"

"I don't think so."

"Well you better believe it lady!"

She hangs up at this point.

"Oh what?!" Gatrie yelled, looking at the phone.

Everybody started laughing at Gatrie.

"Gatrie, what did I tell you about getting to the point?" Shinon asked.

"You said it was better that way!"

"Yeah, well except for asking chicks out. Outta the way I'll show you how it's done." he scoots over to the phone and dials in a random number.

"Watch and learn." he smiles at everyone, still sober for now.

The phone rings and gets picked up on the third ring by a male voice.

"Hello?"

"Yeah…your daughter at home?"

"Who is this?"

"This is her…school counselor calling about…stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well that's supposed to be between me and her. So…is she there?"

At this point everybody is trying not to laugh too loud to give Shinon away, but it sounds like the guy is buying Shinon's terrible bluff.

"Yeah…hang on." The guy is heard calling to his daughter, and Shinon's face turns to incredulousness as he can't believe the guy actually has a daughter, and he has no idea how old she is.

"Hello?" a young girl's voice answers.

"Heyyyyy," Shinon starts, smiling like a creeper, "How old are you babe?"

"…what?"

"Just answer the question." he takes a big drink of his champagne.

"18. Who is this?"

"Woo-hooooo we got a legal one!" Shinon yells, now getting drunk.

Gatrie just stares as this progresses.

"Look doll how would you feel going out on the town with a rich man with refined tastes?" Shinon's words begin to slur.

"Uhhhh…I have a boyfriend already and I don't even know who you are!"

"I'm your school counselor!"

"Shinon?" Oscar chimes in, "You're not supposed to tell _her_ that!"

"What?" Shinon looks more drunk than ever for some reason, "I oughta kick your face in!" he takes the phone and hits Oscar in the face with it.

"Auuughh!" Oscar screams, falling down, and rolling on the floor.

"I thought you said you were gonna kick him!" Ike says laughing.

"Screw you Ikey!" Shinon screams and kicks Ike hard in the shin.

"AAAAAAUUUUUGHHH!" Ike screams, going down too.

The girl on the phone starts screaming and for some reason hasn't hung up on Shinon yet. Minutes later her father is back on line, demanding answers to what's going on.

"SCREW YOU TOO OLD MAN!" Shinon yells and throws the phone so hard at the wall that it breaks.

"My phone!" Gatrie wails, looking at Shinon fearfully.

"I shoulda never let you talk me into this!" Shinon tried punching at Gatrie, but overshot and overbalanced himself, falling to the ground.

Everybody started looking freaked out over Shinon's random angry outburst. Rhys grabs his staff with one hand and runs over to Shinon and hits him over the head with it.

"There!" Rhys said, "I put a Sleep on him!"

"I thought you had to wave it, not actually make contact…" Mist said.

"Well this is how you keep them asleep longer!"

"Ohhhhhh okay!" Mist smiled, making a mental note of it.

Everybody started laughing at Rhys' comment and the camera turned off.

…..

MoonlitMeowth: Hey, if anybody has any ideas for future stunts or ideas, let me know! I could use something.


End file.
